Courage Love, Courage

clc albert

Courage Love, Courage

Finding my bliss
was not an easy
path, while clutching
baggage, with knuckles
bleeding, I nearly missed.

And it was
of no consequence
to keep . . .
while weighing me down
burdening me on life’s trip.

I was not willing to see.

Though, I fought and kicked
against my own truth
adopting yours
oh what a mess . . .

what a melee
this did bring.

The parting of your lips
with honeyed words dripping
were deliciously teasing
but did finally sting.

On a mission now
subsequent searching
eating the watermelon
while spitting out
sundry seeds.

Taking my time
as I dismissed
your lies
and what you said
was expected of me.

A voice inside said
“Surrender now
Beloved one
the path is easy.”

I laid down my life.
And my freedom
no longer hidden

was unveiled to me.

I AM . . .
transformed and armed
with love

with rushing rivers
doused in wisdom and trust
that have lived for aeons
and have always
resided inside of me.

Resurrected now . . .
I picked up my mat
and walked
on my own two feet.

I picked up, me.

The me . . .
that has always been
had I spit out the seeds

walked my own path
and been willing to see.

Courage Love, Courage.

(c) Janet P. Caldwell ~ September 24, 2014

Pic: izquotes.com

Civility ?

civilty

Civility ?

I am sending love and peace
to all of my universal
brothers and sisters
in harms way.

It’s everywhere, isn’t it ?

I almost laugh
when I hear of civil war.
What the hell is civil about that ?
Such a shame
to live and die this way.

It may not be a gun
pointed to our brains
but brainwashing our youth
what’s the difference ?

It’s all the same.

There are too many misunderstandings
our / their . . . intentions
misunderstood
due to a lack of communication
and
tribal customs that seem foreign
are being stamped out
until nary a soul is left.

The people are experiencing hatred
and so many lives lost . . .
ignorance is king
and blood loss his queen.

Simply living, day to day
stop walking around in a trance
please, please give peace a chance.

Who says that we all have to be alike
in our walk to the same place ?
When no one is talking
or trying to understand
things get severely lost
totally . . . out of hand.

Let us shout and be heard
vote, get involved
in your neighborhood.

Teach our children to love
and to accept apologies
never heard.

I for one do apologize
for the ignorance
of my ancestors
and please remember

I was not there.

(c) Janet P. Caldwell – September 1st, 2014

Papa’s Little Crow

bknation_jimcrow2.jpg

Papa’s Little Crow

A Child arrived today
to the highly decorated
and indoctrinated
Expectant parents
of Mary & Jim Crow.

The couple were oh so excited
singing praises to the father of their linen – esque Flags
with rejoicing and relishing the cause
they sang loud and proud
because the fruit of their loins
that had easily spilled
and merged nine months ago
could and did produce
This Wonder, this Fairest One of All.

He would become and be known as Master Jack to many.
And for awhile . . .
Little Jackie to his Momma and Papa
and MJ for short . . .
but only to a select group.

These are but a few
names and titles
selected and granted
to Jack, due him by birthright.

Mary & Jim were looking back at that night
when they had exploded abundantly
and well – nigh profusely
and not for the love expressed
or the sheer pleasure of touch

because DUTY had called them
to march and march
to a strange but familial drum
that if left unnoticed
would continually pound
ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba, ba-ba bum
so like programmed sheeple-ish units
they answered the bleating calls.

Yes, Duty called
All of their kind
to reproduce killer robots
disguised as humans
seeking targets
to destroy any and all
that were not like them

you know what it’s about . . .
simply not their kind.

So like good soldiers on a mission
they too, would bring forth
a fair and just warrior
with honor bound fidelity
to protect and serve ‘whose-manity’?

Years later, there came the secret name
given by one, with barely a hushed whisper
and sworn in secrecy
decreed in bloods code,
now that he was officially
in this “Society of Thugs”.

“Congratulations and Welcome Big Jack to The Academy”
said the officer, with the Golden Ropes
where the only mixing of colors, was that vast
array of ribbons covering his chest
and
attached to a Uniform that reeked Superior
was a shiny and shifty
yet shimmering
gilded badge.

Mary & Jim Crow, without question
were diligent in the education
and grooming of their
blonde hair, blue eyed son . . .
welcome to the asylum.

Drum Roll please . . .
Introducing, First in his Class
Officer Jack Crow.

A product of the “now” that was “then”.

(c) Janet P. Caldwell – August, 2014

Image: http://bknation.org/2014/01/old-jim-crow/

Resentment: A Cry for Help

Resentment: A Cry for Help

It has been said that you can never go home. Also, it has been stated, not to live in the past and to learn from life’s lessons that have been revealed to you. Well hell, I do not want to go home, whatever that is (in this realm anyway). Yet, the past still holds sway. I miss my brother Michael, (my ROCK) terribly today and my Mom. I think of my older twin brothers, Jerry and Terry, and compassion rolls over me. Some-days it feels as if I am drowning in it, choking until I breathe no more. Other days along with the compassion and love for them, I feel a sort of resentment, like now. My God help me, please help us all.

Was it my responsibility to rescue my brother Terry, and to keep him from our step-dad when our Mom died ? I thought so, step-daddy was working him into the ground, taking every penny, screaming at Terry and when the notion struck him, he’d haul off and knock the shit out of him for no apparent reason. I was young, saw no other way than to scoop up my mentally challenged brother Terry, (who is 9 years older) and move 200 miles away from what I then referred to as step-dad, the monster. We had no communication with the monster for 7 years.

After over 20 years of caring for Terry, I am no longer able to do this, due to my own challenges, among a few other things. I finally had him placed about a year ago in a group home just 7 miles from my house. Thank God, Jerry had long been placed before, near us by my Mother; before her passing. Jerry is in this group home still.

I received news yesterday that June 1, 2014, Terry would no longer be welcomed at ‘his’ group home due to acting out. I did see this coming. I have 11 days to find another home which is NOT easy. It took 2 yrs to find this one and only when I stopped doing it ‘my way’ and asked my God for help. Bam, help arrived ! There it was, seemingly dropping into my lap. I know the lesson; it is to let go and allow the Universe to do it’s thing. I also know that I make a mess of things when I do not ask for help. I do not know how this is going to play out; and I am sure that it is not for me to know, just yet.

In the meantime, Father, I ask that you guide my footsteps, my mind, keep your Angels all around to guard, protect and keep me sane and everyone involved in this situation. I am thankful for the tools that I have been privileged to learn and utilize. When one door closes, another opens. Let me never forget Your kindness and provisions on our behalf and . . . I love you, Terry !

(c) Janet P. Caldwell – May 20th, 2014

Video: Youtube – (c)The Hollies – He’s my brother – Entertainment Purposes Only – No (c) Infringement Intended

Terry (and Jerry) will be 64 in June

UPDATE: Just a few hours ago, I wrote this.  I have been on the telephone . . . all day and have 2 prospects for Terry.  Thank you, Universe !

Notebooks

notebooks1

 

Notebooks

 

My notebooks are filled

with half poems, ideas

some brilliant and then

there are the others . . .

 

I see my Mother in one

she, with her olive skin

dark auburn hair

and a heart too big

it could not be contained.

 

I see my God, the notes

and prayers unanswered.

They say . . .

I am supposed to be glad for this.

 

I see my daughter

her adult ways

and it blows my mind

that she is truly my child.

 

I see my son and his soft heart

the wife and children that he loves so

and I wonder, how did I get so lucky ?

 

Wait ! I don’t believe in luck.

I am blessed somehow

despite my craziness

 

that these two turned out

finer than any wine, yes

some – ONE is looking out for us.

 

I see lovers, lost and gained

joy and pain, the tears and rainy days

reckless lives abandoned once

only to be re-saved.

 

I see me and wonder who I AM

then a stirring moves deep inside

and I know, I am another page

of this Universal notebook‘s stage.

 

(c) May 7th, 2014 Janet P. Caldwell

Pic: http://cookieshq.co.uk/posts/new-system-for-a-notebook-freak/

No copyright Infringement Intended