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Soiled Panties ?

– Janet Caldwell

Soiled Panties ?

Today . . .
I put on my big-girl panties
the first time
in such a long while.

I left my pampers
by the way – fare – side.
The price was too high
for soulish, kiddish, skid – marks.

So, I stopped peeing myself
and hiding in the dark
from my self – induced
monsters of thought.

I forgot . . .
though the Universe. . .
keeps reminding me
of who I am.

Letting go of the stupid stuff
is as easy as 1-2-3
no need to plead
for 5 anymore.

I keep arriving . . .
horizon after horizon.

Playing on a field
more level . . .
is what I thought
that I needed.

I found this balance within me.

The imagined pain
still stirs occasionally
but I am choosing
to change my perceptions
and Be.

It’s time to show-up
grow-up
and stop the madness
of self blame
and others
on how I feel.
I love you, Tide Dancer . . . still.

And, I chose it, didn’t I ?
Yes, yes I did.

So, though I broke up
with myself.
I put the pieces
back together again
as only I can.

And I woke up
in due – time
to save me
this time
in lieu of the junk
found in the salvage yard.

Thank you, Universe. . .
for reminding me
and staying on my skittish ass
about who I am.

Clean panties, anyone ?

Pic: www.ladiesstuffzone.com

Tags: Janet Caldwell, Janet P. Caldwell, Self Love, Self-Examination
Posted on 06.5.13 in humor, Uncategorized / 4 thoughts shared →

The End

– Janet Caldwell

The End

What kind of friend am I ?

You may call me a
a traitorous bitch
because I will not
drown with you
in this sorrowful ditch.

The invitations to your party
were sent.
I received mine . . .
RSVP ~ Declined.

I loved you . . .
at least, I thought so.
And now . . .

now, I refuse to wallow
in the mud with you.
The train is leaving
I must go.

Tugging on my arm
you still ask . . .
What kind of friend am I ?

Answering . . .
I will not swallow
and choke on the dirt
that is of your creation,
when you are blinded
by a one sided . . .
and not so shiny coin.

And right there in your face
didn’t you know ?
Of course you didn’t
with Third Eye closed.

Somewhere . . .
I read about the joining
careful love . . .

some things take time
to realize the degree
of what it means . . .
when you agree
to jump in & be sucked in
without boundaries
it’s really kind of cowardly.

And the cleaning
with knuckles bleeding
and oh the clearing
of your own space
may be a mess
just look at your face

but worth every drop.

Upon returning
re-birthing
and relearning
exactly what it is
that you want, is exciting.

And BTW
I refuse to Be an Extra
in your play !

This is my life, and
the plan of the Divine
is my birthright
my self – design.

Do you have a better one,
see a better way ?
I did not think so.

It is time to let go . . .

Farewell, my old familiar friend.
Good-bye self-loathing
with your obnoxious groaning
it’s time to begin anew.

So, call me . . .
when you throw
a celebratory party
for love and growth
and never lose that hope
or the shine
that IS you. Me.

And I Will be happy to RSVP . . .
this time with a YES . . .
with a party hat tipping
bells on and best dress.

This is short
and not too sweet
but it’s the real deal
take it or leave it.

I have to do what is best
for she and I and me.

I will not entertain
or be you or that me . . . again.
Party on . . . party on
if you will.

What kind of friend am I ?

Removing this mask
that never fit . . .
and putting down the phony flask
that never tasted good anyway
and only drunk-ended
and spilled over on you.

So, you ask . . .
What kind of friend am I ?
An Authentic One . . .
shit, get over it and live.

Inspired by: Life & Elise Fee / Life Coach, I love you !

Video: youtube ~ No copyright infringement intended, entertainment purposes only

Tags: American Poet, aware, change, Consciousness, growth, Janet Caldwell, Janet P. Caldwell, Self Love
Posted on 05.27.13 in Uncategorized / 2 thoughts shared →

Uncovering Truth

– Janet Caldwell

Uncovering Truth

Remove far from me
vanity and lies.
They are REF-USE to my spirit
and I refuse to buy – in
or dine and dash this time.

Yes, this time, I decline to consume
the trash, disguised as food
or Gideonish
neon truths.

Your name is still
in flashing lights
or so some think

from a slick-snaked-slimy-slithering
message – munching maggot mind.

All from habit.

In times past
it could have been
easy to see the glamor
as we clamor
to receive a touch
even as someone slides down
the theater walls
over stuffed and puking.

I have to pass on this
too, too much . . .

so many . . .
recitals of egocentric
rhetorical lines.

Not that . .
prickly performance again
not this time.

So in nature, I sit still . . .
and I will myself
to take on a different point
of view, will you ?
As we sit in silence,

the Kingdom of Heaven
whispers from within.

I AM Love . . .
I Am Power . . .
I AM the all . . .

Get your fill Beloved
from the triple O
where the love is abundant.

All knowledgeable
All present
All powerful

this is not a test
and please Dear One . . .
let me handle the rest

love yourself
and love my creation
for all is divine
in My equation.

I AM you
as you are me
one humanity

the grass, the leaves
the sea . . .
all one, indeed.

Yes, we are all One Divinity.
Yet, you have found that some
feel the need for validity.

What about you, My Child
did or do you belong to the
see me, see me’s ?
It never was pleasing
to you or me.

Just Be, step out on a limb
bend without breaking
or giving in
to the majority
with full clarity.

I have shown you time
and time again
look within
it’s all there.

Reflect on Perfection
I know . . .
that you know this . . .

select
elect love’s perfection
believe it
and receive the flawlessness
of it ALL

while knowing that
everything happens for a reason
a season, a time
and all divine.

My Child
let your fears go
they are not of me
or she, or he

those perceived
perceptions
perspectives
are all self designed.

In the letting go
I sat still . . .
and I listened in silence.

The kingdom of heaven
whispered from within

I AM All Love . . .
I Am All Power . . .
I AM . . .

In the letting go . . .
I cried tears of joy. . .
Peace to all . . .
One love.

Selah.

Tags: American Poet, Ego, Janet Caldwell, Janet P. Caldwell, Lies. Truth, poetry, Propaganda, Spiritual
Posted on 05.26.13 in consciousness, Uncategorized / 4 thoughts shared →

A Reaping Time has Come

– Janet Caldwell

A Reaping Time has Come

What would happen to us
if we shed this pale skin
by choice or not
and jumped into our . . .
internal
Paternal
Black skin?

The skin of our Fore-Father’s . . .
with limited knowledge
on the propaganda machine
the scene became
a white man’s Eden.

Would you love me still
if I did not look like you?

Many are chosen but few are called . . .

In today’s society and generations
before me, to be fair-skinned
is advantageous to squash
my black Brother’s and Sister’s
to keep the White Brother’s
with hoods up and over
their covered and uncovered
faces . . .

We need change now
with one fat daddy
race in power
it angers me
still . . .

I assure you
the time will come
when we rue the hour
that we started this crime
against humanity
if we cannot extend love
and stop this INSANITY.

A reaping time has come
a reaping time has come
run for your little life
a reaping time has come.

Aren’t we all the people?
Power to the People
the so called little guys
with no voices
or they are locked up
for having spoken!!!

Can you not see
how to be in another’s skin
may elect to change
your attitude, and to defect
the lie-ma beans
the white man
sows in your garden
choking your dreams
of freedom . . .
while holding you down
’til forced to die or eat.

And to that pool
you led innocents
by the score
attempting to drown
those who do not
follow in some fucked up servitude
and gratitude for your eel laden stream?

Yeah, you may call me extreme
but so many enjoy the same dreams
as you . . .

And to be black for a year ???
I may have blown my head off
if not for love it seems.

The grit and honor
enduring generations
of degradation
the consciousness
of this people
are tougher than you and me.

A reaping time has come
a reaping time has come
run for your life
a reaping time has come.

Power to the People!!!
All Loving Peoples
for a reaping time has come.

Posted on 05.16.13 in ignornace, Janet Caldwell, judgmental, mental illness, murder, Peace, poems, Power, Racism, Response, Uncategorized / Share your thoughts →

Shards ~ Caldwell Peters Collab

– Janet Caldwell

Shards

Bill

the shards were strewn across the floor
when i looked
i saw the reflections
of light
prisms
and me

i grabbed a hypotenuse shape
made of manufactured sand
i picked at the jagged edge
with my right index finger tip
i felt the pain
and the promise
as i was
contemplating stabbing
my self in my eye
that i may see things a bit differently

i could never be indifferent
and believe you me i have tried
and failed
perhaps today
i will taste the blood
that victory often lets
. . . perhaps

JANET

perhaps the glass shard
created by lightening
striking sand within
could cut
and would sever
the tethers
enough for me

on how to rise
with open eyes
to see
the way to release
the pain within
to begin again.

I need more than right angles though
maybe a few arcs
or more of a circular cut
180 degrees
would suffice
an acquittal . . .
a certificate of freedom.

Bill

remnant memories
of past victories haunted me
and i began to examine their validity
as well
for i was coming to
trust nothing i knew
or thought i knew
for i saw my self in pieces
shattered
scattered
and i battered my consciousness
pummeling my mind
for my life

the old ways held on to me
even though i have opened my hands
and let go
of Mommy
and Grammy too
but i still love them though

vexed and hexed
i begin to rend the flesh
of my delusions
i am a cutter
because the shards have presented themselves
to me
i am cutting to the quick
that my light may escape
and take flight with me
in tow

Janet

In the blood-letting
I have learned to trust
and let the haunting
of past images go.

Freedom is . . .
what I sought
and fought for . . .
hard won
but worth it.

These prisms of light
are reflections from within
in and under my skin.

A shard-less
rainbow colored person
lives here and has
begun to experience joy again.

Tags: American Poets, Glass, Janet P. Caldwell, New Jersey, Peters, Shards, Sr, tx, William S
Posted on 05.10.13 in confusion, derailedpoet, family, forgiveness, going on, Granny, illision, Janet Caldwell, Janet P. Caldwell, Just Bill, love, madness, mystical, Peace, poety, providence, relationships, secrets, Treasure the Moment, Uncategorized, Vision / Share your thoughts →

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Soiled Panties ?

The End

Uncovering Truth

A Reaping Time has Come

Shards ~ Caldwell Peters Collab

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